So I’m just sitting here after the last post and wondering, indeed, “Who the H— am I?” and “What the H— am I?” and “Where the H— am I?” and “What the H— am I doing here?”
Feeling like absolutely nothing fits anymore. Nothing resonates anymore, at least the things from the past. Even living here on the Big Island does not resonate like it used to. I used to be Hawaiian. Now it’s just, I live here. It’s my place. But I just live here.
Then I read Ron Head’s 4-24-12 message and it reminded me that, yes, we are in the midst of an influx of HUGEly intense transformative energy, on all levels, affecting every level of our beings and effecting change on every level of our beings.
So I suppose I should not feel “surprised” that thoughts like, “Who the H— am I?” and “What the H— am I?” and “Where the H— am I?” and “What the H— am I doing here?”, come up. I just turned down a music opportunity because it just felt so old, and so “not me anymore”. It’s so hard to go back to anything that you have passed through, knowing that it is NOT you anymore.
So I said no.
Even this beautiful “paradise-y” island, does not, by itself, contain any “paradise”. I know that “the only paradise is within”, and all that metaphysical theme stuff. But I DO know that holding on to any concepts right now, about anything, in particular, “Where is this Ascension thing going to?”, “Where will I be in a couple of months, and at the end of 2012?”, and so on, is pretty “para-dicey” (dicey, unpredictable; risky; uncertain).
Release it all. I’m just letting the energies coming in take care of this. And like the Ron message said, “Acceptance and welcoming them [these changes, energies] will create one kind of change and resistance will create another”, and “The self whom you have always intuitively known is about to manifest for all to see. You just might be as surprised and pleased as everyone else.”
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