Kp Message 4-19-20… “Going through It (I hope)” [4-20-20: and, yes, we got through it!]

[Kp update 4-20-20: the “urgency” conveyed in this message has passed, and I’m feeling much Lighter after a morning of Caribou (dark chocolate Mayan) mocha and shopping and a sunny day walk. There are things I am going to do, the first of which is to actually have a conversation with my father about his future. We’ll see how that turns out….. In the meantime, I am extremely grateful for everyones’ comments and ideas. We’ll see where this goes, and how it goes.]

Unfortunately, although my father has been pretty much getting along with many things, it’s getting so difficult to care for his daily needs now that I’m really going to have to change this.

I can talk and talk and write and write about it, and how I’m here for this and for that, and so on, with him, but right now I am about finished.

I feel like I am so very HELPLESS. I feel like I am DYING on the inside. My Spirit is struggling just to stay above water. I feel so pained to see him struggle, and to have (usually) no answers for his physical conditions.

I feel utterly helpless when he has a medical condition come up, or a pain or this or that, and I really do NOT know about drug interactions and so on and so on. And which drug A side effect will pile up on drug B side effect to cause another drug side effect (which often includes death).

Sometimes, Western medicine seems like “Witchcraft from the ‘Planet of Crap and Pain'”.

Enough of that.

I said I’d share some of what I’m going through, from time to time. I know others are going through some things like this (or already have), but knowing that does nothing for my making my own decisions and choices about what to do with my father. And often I always feel like I’m “wrong” no matter what I do (very 3D outlook… sorry for that).

I know it will work out, but I feel that the burden is all upon ME, and that’s a “me-centric” view, I know. The Universe will show me what to do and how to proceed.

From my view, he needs a place to stay where he can get the correct and proper care for his body (and spirit) in the shape it is in now.

I know The Guidance will come.

Aloha, Kp