Kp Message 12-6-19… “Feels like an absolute ‘Hell trap'”

I’m just describing what it feels like, day to day. Today I felt like I was trapped in a place and situation I not only did not want to deal with, but could not deal with.

This is not “major” stuff. It’s just the day to day moment to moment small thing after small thing after small thing after small thing after small thing after small thing after small thing after small thing after small thing.

Sitting around making my dinner then dreading going out into Dad’s space where the TV is turned on to some crappy msm bullshit news station where they show negative thing after negative thing after negative thing after negative thing after negative thing after negative thing after negative thing after negative thing after negative thing after negative thing.

I put my earpieces on and listen to x22Report or something like that, and try to not engage any of it. And of course I could go to another room and eat (and maybe next time I’ll do that) but I feel Dad “needs” my company but I don’t feel like being in the same room where all that everlasting msm continual negative thing parade is going on.

And dammit I’m not going to pretend like I’m some pleasant-ass bullshitter that says “Well, all is beauty and Light and I behold the Christ in you”, even though there’s that msm continual negative thing parade going on.

The voice says, “I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.”

“I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of it.”

“Get me the hell out of here! Get me the hell out of here! Get me the hell out of here! Get me the hell out of here! Get me the hell out of here! Get me the hell out of here! Get me the hell out of here! Get me the hell out of here! Get me the hell out of here! Get me the hell out of here!”

Yes I know there’s going to be comments and emails and messages and all that. And pardon me if I don’t feel like listening to things like “Just take charge” and “You need to be a manager not a doer” and “This is a valuable time for you and your parents right now” and so on.

Maybe I’m just in a very ego-selfish spot right now but that’s just too bad.

My life feels like it totally s-u-c-k-s right now, and unfortunately, I do know what I can do about it, and so maybe this message is one I’ll read later and, “Just do it”.

Pardon my rant. But that’s where I’m at right at this moment.

Aloha, Kp