That’s about how I feel right at the moment.
First off, the second part of that title. I’m feeling like nothing of the former “KP” is connecting to anything of the present “Kp” these days. At least, connecting within me. To my kuleana (sacred path). I suppose that’s the way it is intended to be.
It’s also part of an old paradigm (perhaps) that says,
- “You started this… you’d better keep doing it or your life will be wasted”, or
- “You’ve been given this talent (talents), so you’d better use it (them) or you’re throwing away what “God” gave you”, or
- “Life is all about staying firm in one place for the rest of your life, and if you don’t that means you have no commitment to anything and will fail in your life’s journey”, or
- …add your own…
Talk about a guilt trip.
In my own case, I look at what I did in my own past, doing science full time, playing music full time, doing energy work on the Big Island, going to Peru and Bolivia and Egypt and Turtle Island and doing energy work there.
There’s something in me that knows, “I am not here to do those things anymore.” And if I were to do them, definitely not in the same way, or for the same reasons.
You know, basically, I do not know exactly what I’m doing here, or why I’m here, or what I should do next. It’s all “in the moment”, “with the moment”, and “one moment at a time”.
Oh, and second, about the first part of the title, I suppose I’d say my perception about “this journey” is changing… continually.
So maybe the message here is “Just let up on the ego, and relax with the journey (and my perception of it).”
Aloha, Kp
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