Kp Message 5-20-21… “Emotional outbursts… This path has continued to be, many times, not so easy”

Sometimes I move through this current journey with Light and Love and Faeries and Rainbows showing up all around me. Today has not been one of those times.

I’ve spent about the last 10-15 minutes crying, and crying, and crying, and releasing emotional things that came up powerfully, just today (5-19-21).

Quick summary, I have a new house insurance deal I’m signing, so the house is under my own name (rather than parents, or the trust set up for my Dad), and it needed some data items from the house, about furnace, AC, etc., etc. And I looked up a couple of those, but it felt so difficult to go through it, and trying to find product numbers and matching with papers from my parents’ files. I got feeling so frustrated with all of that, and bubbling up from beneath all that came an emotional outburst (anger, anyone?) and a voice that said something like, “I’m just sick of this all this house b—sh– and keeping track of this and that and inside and basement and yard and cars and… AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!

“I don’t want to take care of this this house!!!” was another message. Here’s a few more:

This house was NOT built for me; it was for my parents and me.

This house is not really mine.

I can’t stand taking care of a place that’s about 10 times too big for me.

This place is not what I want.

I don’t want to live in this part of the planet. In this town, in this state. I want to go back to Hawai’i.

And so on. Afterwards, I took a “strongly energetic” walk, and a large white stone that I threw VERY hard along the way!

Then tonight after a dinner, I was just “hit” by a very very strong sense of sadness that that’s the way I felt, and about how my Mom and Dad put so much effort and energy into this house, and now, I was not wanting to keep it for myself. Removing all of the things Mom and Dad have accumulated for themselves, Dad’s tools in the garage and the basement, Mom’s art room and beautifully decorated other rooms.

Emotionally, it just hit, and hit, and hit, and hit, and hit, and hit. For about 15 minutes… I sobbed. And released.

I know this outburst has already passed, and I’ll get through the other things, one moment at a time. But this path has continued to be, many times, not so easy.

We’ll keep on moving through this. Mahalo to each and every one who reads these rants of mine, and sends their Light and Love and Understanding my way.

Aloha, Kp