This can be a Very Difficult, Tough Energy to be in…

This day has been full of surprises, especially on the inner. Trying to locate a conference call I just connected with yesterday, the call started out with some folks talking, but then they decided to suspend the call and the moderators said they would post the new numbers and codes on “the Skype chat”. But where WAS “the Skype chat”? They never told me, or anyone else. So all of a sudden, this call I really wanted to hear, was “taken away from me”.

I tried and tried to find it, on related websites, and other conference call sites, but to no avail. And usually I am pretty proficient in these things, computer-wise. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I couldn’t find it… anywhere. And no one could tell me where it was. Or IF it was.

Then all of a sudden I felt pulsed with a wrenching frustration that brought me to slap my body. It was fierce. And right then, I knew who was “in frustration”. It was a teenage boy who always felt he had to be perfect in school, who felt he should always be able to “figure things out”. And who would almost cry if he ever failed at that.

So I looked up to the sky and hugged this body and just told this teenage boy that I loved him, and I loved him no matter what he did or did not do, or no matter whether he could figure this out or that out. It did not matter. I loved him.

So I lay my head down on the table where on of the kitties was lying and let him purr next to my head.

So I guess that’s what a lot of these energies are about these days (for me at least). We are all being “apocalypsed” (having “the hidden” unveiled). This was hidden from me, until that “missing” conference call brought this up.

Love is tough. It does not let me get away with holding on to what I need to let go of. Sometimes it seems to say about any old stuff I need to release, “Tough Sh%!. This is Tough Love.”

What a pi$$er.