So What the “Heaven” am I Doing Down Here…

I could have used the other “H” word. But I did not. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know why.

I am just going through this thing where I am not even close to having any idea what I am still here for on this planet. It seems and feels that the only thing I contribute to anything or anyone is this blog. And the only thing I want to do right now, if anything (other than watching the Stanley Cup playoffs (I used to play hockey and I still love to watch hockey (except the fighting))) is write this blog. Sometimes. But no desire to start a business, be a chemist (my degrees were in that, the organic kind), be a musician, go work for anybody, make money, help anybody, pretend that I WANT to help anybody, act like a “good” citizen, contribute anything to anything on this Earth.

Sometimes I feel like a person in the ocean without a boat anymore. In fact it’s not even my ocean anymore. Not too very long ago, I was always going to the water, down below where I live, and jumping off the rocks and swimming around over there, and being at one with all of it; the rocks, the water, the waves, the beings in the waves. Now… nothing. It feels like no connection, no desire to connect like that, no desire to leave the house where I live (except to coffee/mocha at Java on the Rock). nothing.

And feeling like no connection to the islands (Hawaiian ones). There was a time when I felt that was it for me. Hawaiian… emphasis on the “Ha” (means “breath”). I was breathing Hawaii, immersed in Hawaii, and Hawaiian. I learned Hawaiian music, Hawaiian slack key guitar, and was all involved playing around Kona with all sorts of events.

Then… nothing. Starting back around May, 2009, I started feeling “called” to go on these missions. Energetic, transformational, Earth-healing, opening up vortexes (okay, “vortices”) all over the place, initiating pink-platinum-pyramidal-planes of higher energetic formations… and so on, blah, blah, blah.

Traveling to O’ahu, Kauai, to parts of the Big Island, living without apartment, out of my car, several times. Then Indiana, Peru, then to Jordan, Gizeh (Egypt), Kings Chamber, Saqqara, the Nile. Then this year to the Ozarks and New Madrid region, visiting dams, reservoirs, blowing up old energies and healing many places from years, centuries of abuse.

Now I am back in Hawaii again, but like I have no “home” here at all. Hawaii is just “a nice place to live”. That’s it. This is not “my place” anymore. But neither is anywhere else on this planet.

I guess I’m “ascending”. I guess my DNA is changing, my body is changing. Sure hope it is an upgrade, because the last few years just about every part of it (the body) has felt a variety of pains-stiffness-discomfort-what-the-hell-is-going-on-now stuff.

So maybe this all means something. To somebody. But I am not at home on this planet, in this dimension, as it has been, as everybody (well, not everybody, but a lot) thinks it is “supposed” to be.

Could be that my reading about Agartha (or is that “Agharta”, or is it “Aghartha”?… who knows…) has touched something (see the last post). I am not satisfied with this world down here, and I have no desire to try to fix it. Or contribute to it. Maybe because, at some level, I am through with it.

Well, we’ll see where this goes. I guess I’ll post this. Nothing like exposing your innards (my Grandmother’s term for what’s inside a chicken). So what’s next?